Beautiful Genuine Truth: A Shadow of A Doubt

“A Shadow of a Doubt” was the first poem I ever heard that resonated with me. Joseph Solomon, the poet behind this masterpiece, crafted something so authentic and vulnerable that it made me feel unashamed.

That’s how I would describe my experience with it. Even to this day, that poem stays with me. “A Shadow of a Doubt” spoke the words I couldn’t express myself.

It reflected the struggle, the pain, and the agony I endured in my journey of belief. Even now, I continue to battle with a shadow of a doubt.

A shadow of a doubt that lingers

I often wonder—how many of us, as saints, still wrestle with that shadow of doubt? How many of us truly recognize what it is?

For me, it wasn’t something that grew with me but rather something that hit hard when my grandmother passed away. It’s interesting how grief can make you doubt God.

She was the epitome of faith—the strongest believer I knew. If she ever had a shadow of a doubt, she certainly never showed it.

Beyond A Shadow of A Doubt Passed Down.

I remember Joseph, the poet, expressing how he wished his grandmother could have passed down her confidence and faith. He also hoped for the faith of his niece—a child who didn’t wrestle with doubt.

I’ve often wished the same for myself—that my grandmother’s unwavering faith could be passed down to me. That kind of beyond-a-shadow-of-a-doubt faith, if only it could be shared. If she could, she would have divided it up and given a piece to everyone she knew.

It reminds me of Paul’s words when he expressed his willingness to be cursed forever if it could save others (Romans 9:3 NLT). I admire the faith of Paul and others throughout the Bible. I also recognize the struggles they had to endure to secure it.

As I read through the many passages in the Bible, I’m drawn to the moments of Jesus. Where He said to those He healed, “Rise up, your faith has made you whole” (Luke 17:19). Or “Go and sin no more, your faith has saved you” (John 8:11). Oh, how my soul longs to have been there, to hear those very words spoken.

That my faith—unwavering, unmoved by the waves of the sea—would stand firm. That, Lord, my faith in You, without a shadow of a doubt, would save me.

Help thou my Unbelief.

I’ve realized just how crucial faith is—not just as a concept, but as the anchor for navigating life’s uncertainties. It’s easy to feel overwhelmed when the waves around you seem stronger than your faith. Yet, it’s often the very faith you doubted that gave you the courage to step out of the boat. The same one that walked you on the water in the first place.

While I always knew faith was important, this deeper understanding has grown with each challenge I’ve faced. I often find myself sympathizing with the father of the demon-possessed boy, when the disciples couldn’t heal him. Desperate, he pleaded with Jesus, ‘Have mercy on us and help us, if you can’ (Mark 9:22 NLT).

I can relate to the fear behind that “if you can”—a small shadow of doubt that could cost everything. How easily doubt creeps in when faith is what we need most. Yet, it was faith that moved him to cry out for mercy and help.

Jesus responded with a question: “What do you mean, ‘If I can?’”. The father had asked for mercy, but in the same breath, allowed doubt to slip in. Jesus, ever knowing the heart, understood that His next words would expose the tension between belief and uncertainty.

The father cried out, “I do believe, but help me overcome my unbelief!” (Mark 9:24). What I love about this moment is the honesty—he proclaimed his faith but also admitted, even to God, that shadows of doubt still lingered within.

Doubting Thomas: If I see I’ll believe.

In Joseph’s poem, I recall the part where he asks if he could just place his fingers in Jesus’ nail-pierced hands. It’s funny how he felt the same emotions as Thomas, who walked so closely with Jesus.

It’s as if he longed to say, “If I could just see for myself that You are who You say You are, and that You have indeed risen again, I’ll believe.” I can remember the error in my thinking when I approached faith this way.

I often pray to God, asking Him in my study, “Lord, help me to see so I can trust You.” This went on for several days until one day, while sitting and studying, I repeated the same request.

At that moment, I heard God. As if a friend were sitting across from me, saying, “You have to trust in order to see.” He went on to give me an example of a person who lacks trust in their spouse.

When that trust is broken, the wife or husband may feel the need to scrutinize everything their partner does because they no longer trust them.

To put it, If I trust You, I don’t need to see what You’re doing because I trust You.

Blessed are they that have not seen

Doubting Thomas, a devoted disciple who walked closely with Jesus, might not have fully grasped the weight of his skepticism. Surrounded by his companions—each one excitedly proclaiming they had seen the risen Lord—he wrestled with his disbelief. The air in the locked room was thick with fear and uncertainty, a tangible reflection of his inner turmoil.

Yet, in His boundless compassion, Jesus entered that space, addressing Thomas directly with the words he longed to hear: “Put your finger here; see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side…”

In that transformative moment, overwhelmed by the reality of Jesus before him, Thomas may have dropped to his knees, breathless, exclaiming, “My Lord and my God!”

But then came a moment of profound insight. Jesus offered Thomas compassion while gently reminding him, “You believe because you have seen me.” In that statement, He illuminated a deeper blessing reserved for those who had not yet seen Him but still chose to believe, highlighting the beauty and challenge of faith.

Faith in His Word

I once read a footnote in the NLT Transformation Study Bible for 2 John 7 that said, “What we believe is how we behave.” Thomas’s doubt caused him to behave in a way that made him forget the Word—the very Word that represents God Himself.

I’ve come to recognize this same struggle within myself. There are moments when my actions reveal a lack of trust in God, reflecting deeper levels of doubt.

Jackie Hill Perry sheds light on this, explaining that doubt often stems from a misunderstanding of God’s holiness. When we truly grasp that God is entirely sinless, we realize He cannot betray or wrong us, making Him the most trustworthy being in existence.

I also believe Satan plays a significant role in this struggle. His goal is to undermine the very thing that sets us apart—the faith that empowers us to move mountains of uncertainty.

It’s this same faith that allows us to speak with the power that raised Christ from the dead, and that’s the faith Satan hates the most.

Doubt your Doubts

Joseph, the poet who began his journey in doubt, shared God’s response through His Word by the end of his poem: doubt your doubts.

It’s not always easy to think that way when the shadow of doubt lingers, waiting for the right moment to strike. My prayer is that my child never has to wrestle with it. My Pastor often says, “Don’t let anyone come onto your territory and change your belief”—especially your belief in God.

I recently saw Joseph react to his poem, and it seemed as though he had forgotten the very Word he spoke. Yet, I still sense hope in him, like he’s waiting for those nail-pierced hands to be revealed again.

What he might not realize is that those hands are already revealed to those who truly seek, though they sometimes hide in plain sight. I’ve faced my own lingering doubts, but I pray that Joseph knows his poem touched someone deeply, in more ways than one.

Perhaps God allowed him to experience that shadow of doubt for people like me—someone who wasn’t certain anymore because life had happened. Someone God was calling to get to know Him personally. There are countless others around the world, doubting or questioning God, viewing Him the way we view people, uncertain of His worthiness.

But as Jackie Hill Perry reminds us, God is far above all this—He is Holy. In her book, she powerfully states, “It makes sense why, of all the things the serpent could come for, it is our faith he attacks most” (Holier Than Thou: How God’s Holiness Helps Us Trust Him, p. 4, B&H Publishing).