The Truth About Breaking Generational Curses

September 10, 2024

Breaking generational curses has been on my mind a lot lately, particularly with the growing trend of therapy and people seeking to discover their “truth.”

Many aim to figure out who they are and how they’ve arrived at this point in their lives. But I often wonder, are they truly seeking the root cause to make a lasting change?

You might ask: What does breaking a generational curse even mean? How does one know if a generational curse needs to be broken? And how can I break this cycle?

Generational Curse defined

I believe that to break free from anything, you first need to understand what you’re breaking free from. Let’s define what a “generational curse” truly means for a clearer understanding.

Google’s AI Overview provides two different definitions. One is from a Biblical viewpoint, where generational curses are described as spiritual traits or bondages passed down from one generation to the next.

The other definition from Google’s AI Overview describes a ‘generational curse’ as a behavior or habit passed down from one generation to the next.

It goes further by providing context about parents from divorced homes, suggesting they may parent their children with unhealthy relationship habits. 

This type of trauma can cause their kids to resent commitment, potentially passing that mindset down to future generations.

This illustrates how many of our problems often stem from childhood experiences. While the first Adam brought condemnation to the world, through the second Adam, there is now no more condemnation.

Breaking Generational Curses: The Root from childhood

For me, breaking a generational curse starts with getting to the root of the issue. Addressing surface-level problems might bring temporary relief, but it won’t create lasting change.

Growing up, I carried a heavy burden to be perfect—in both words and actions. It didn’t matter who I was around or what I was doing; I felt I had to be flawless. Mistakes, in my mind, weren’t acceptable.

I remember feeling this weight constantly, and now, looking back, I realize how much it shaped my behavior and mindset. 

Perfection’s Root

Because of this nagging obsession with perfectionism, I’ve seen how it has affected my relationships and now, even my parenting. Nothing ever feels “good enough.” If my marriage isn’t perfect, I feel like something is wrong. If my child misbehaves, I think I must be failing.

I didn’t realize that ups and downs in a marriage are normal, as long as both partners are willing to overcome challenges together. That’s what a real marriage is.

I also didn’t recognize that a 2-year-old misbehaving is completely normal. Holding them to the standards of a 10-year-old is unreasonable. If I’m not careful, these unrealistic expectations could become another generational curse I pass down to my children.

Generational History

This makes me reflect on the many ways society has passed down generational curses—from racism and gun violence to a lack of respect for elders, children disrespecting their parents, and even a loss of self-respect.

I’ve realized that much of this stems from our forefathers and the lineage they set for us. Adam and Eve in the garden, where Adam was warned—just as a father warns his children—that if certain actions are taken, there will be consequences.

If every parent considered the impact their actions would have on their children and future generations, would they choose to stop? It’s something I often ponder.

Accepting the cycles

Recently, I listened to a podcast where a rapper shared his experience with therapy. He mentioned that therapy helped him discover who he was, repeatedly saying, “This is who I am.”

Signifying as if uncovering your roots defines you entirely, with no possibility for change. As if breaking the generational curse is not possible.

It reminded me of how, in AA meetings, individuals introduce themselves with alcohol use disorder, acknowledging their struggle as part of their recovery. 

However, the focus should also be on breaking the cycle and finding freedom, rather than letting a label define them forever. 

Sometimes, it feels like people are trained to believe that their weakness is a permanent part of who they are, instead of something they can overcome.

How can we break generational cycles?

One of the most difficult aspects of breaking generational curses is taking ownership of your own role in the process. It’s easy to blame the past for your current circumstances, but true change happens when you take full responsibility for your future.

This doesn’t mean dismissing the trauma or hardships of your upbringing, but instead acknowledging their existence and deciding that they no longer have the power to dictate your life.

I can say confidently that with, every pursuit of breaking every curse that was passed down, I don’t wish for my child to develop it. Particularly feeling like mistakes are not okay.

Let her know that it’s okay to make mistakes, but every choice comes with consequences. However, repeating the same mistake over and over is not okay once you’ve learned from it. It’s important to practice patience and not delay in applying what you’ve learned.

Building a new legacy

I’m learning that once you’ve started breaking the cycle, it’s important to focus on building something new. You’re not just ending a curse; you’re establishing a new legacy.

It’s easy to dwell on what’s wrong, but as you make progress, celebrate your victories—no matter how small. Breaking generational curses doesn’t happen overnight. It’s a journey of ups and downs, triumphs and setbacks.

There will be times when you fall back into old patterns, but don’t let that discourage you. What matters is that you keep moving forward. Each step, each conscious choice to break free, is a step toward freedom.

Breaking generational curses is a courageous and transformative journey. It requires honesty, faith, and the willingness to do the hard work of change. But in the end, the freedom you gain is invaluable. You have the power to shape your family’s future. You have the strength to break the chains of the past.

So, What will you choose?

TL

Author/Founder of Laps of Time

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